Finding Your Authentic Self - Part 2

Dealing with all of those thoughts.

Last time I wrote about tuning in to your authentic self through quiet time and meditation. So, what to do next? You've taken some time to listen to yourself, but if you're honest you have to admit that a lot of what runs through your head is complete nonsense!

Our brains are like computers. We are constantly processing information and filtering it. The filters are formed by the impressions we've been exposed to, such as television, the comments and opinions of other people, what we've heard or read from the media, childhood experiences, inherited beliefs, etc. As a result, sometimes your thoughts are just plain wrong and don't reflect your true self or your true beliefs.

Remember that your thoughts are not who you are. Just because a thought passes through your mind doesn’t mean that’s how you really feel. We must not react to every thought that we have. When something that your authentic self knows to be "wrong" passes through your mind, stop and acknowledge that it was just a thought and nothing more.

So while you can’t control your thoughts, you can control your emotions and your reactions. Most people have it backward. They believe they can control what they think, but that they have no control over their emotions. Emotions and actions together form a reaction to the thoughts that you are having. You can choose to react or not to react.

Your thoughts are not you. Dismiss what doesn't serve you and move on.

Finding Your Authentic Self - Part I

You wouldn't think that it would be that difficult to know yourself. After all, you've lived with you for your whole life. But so much of what we "know" about ourselves is the result of external input and influence. You store away in your subconsciousness everything you've ever been told about yourself -- every compliment, every criticism. You also store away all of your own misconceptions and ideas borne from fear and insecurity, as well as those ideas and misconceptions that you pick up from the magazines and television.

So how do we go about sifting through all of these ideas and perceptions and figure out who we really are -- our authentic self?

You can start by being alone with yourself. I know that's a difficult thing for many people. With family obligations, work and relationships, solitary time can be hard to come by. However, it's really crucial to your own personal growth to find some time, somewhere, to spend with yourself.

This time should be a form of meditation -- for reflection with no specific agenda. You don't necessarily need to sit in a quiet room, crosslegged, staring at a spot on the wall - but if you're comfortable with this form of meditation that's great. Your time can be spent walking, gardening, sitting, or any other solitary activity that doesn't require a great deal of thought. (No TV -- television just puts more negative impressions in your mind and keeps you from thinking at all.)

Start with 20 minutes a few times a week. Try to clear your thoughts... no agenda, no self-criticism, no to-do list planning. Just be quiet in your mind and see what pops up. The most important thing to remember in this process is NO JUDGMENT. Try to look at your thoughts objectively and with curious interest - don't criticize. Be kind to yourself. Think of your authentic self as a new friend who might be a little shy at first, afraid of not being accepted. Give yourself a little space and I think you'll be amazed at the things you discover.

Next week: Finding Your Authentic Self - Part 2: Dealing with all those Thoughts