Being Present... Right Now!

We live in a very fast-paced society. Everyone has somewhere to go and they're in a hurry. We are all in a rush to succeed, improve, surpass, achieve, acquire... always looking for the next best thing. Ironically, our overwhelming desire for improvement is one of the things that prevents us from growing.

When you are constantly thinking about the future, you are not living in the present moment - or in the "now" as we like to say. The same problem occurs if you are always thinking about the past. But, I'll leave "letting go of the past" for the next blog.

Living in the present moment, or practicing mindfulness, does not mean that you can't plan ahead or look forward to your future. It simply means that you give your full attention to what you are doing right now and take the time to enjoy and be grateful for the experience. As the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh has written, "Imagine the power of our actions if each one contained one hundred percent of our attention." Mindfulness not only serves to improve our relationships, but improves our productivity and leads to greater success in all areas of our lives.

As you read this, take a moment to be aware of the thoughts going through your mind. Are you thinking about what you're going to do tomorrow? about the dishes in the sink? about the unread emails in your in-box? These thoughts are preventing you from being present in THIS moment and giving your full attention to what you are doing right now.

Just before I sat down to write this, my little dog was begging me to play. He loves me to chase him around the house while he plays keep away with his favorite toy. As I was chasing him, I became aware of my thoughts. I was thinking that I could "only do this for a minute," and that I had to "get back to writing." I realized that I was not taking any joy in the act of playing with my dog and that by not giving my full attention to what I was doing I was cheating both of us out of the happiness of that moment.

How many times a day do we have similar experiences, particularly with our children? Sometimes it's very hard to focus on child's play when there are so many things on our minds, so many things to be done. Our inability to be present in the moment is detrimental to our relationships with our children. Children know when you aren't really paying attention to them, when your mind is on other things. They are so much more intuitive than adults. We are all born with the ability to experience happiness in the present moment, but this vital trait is suppressed as we age and become affected by the world around us.

Mindfulness is not an easy concept to understand or to master. We are a society of multi-taskers. But all of this multi-tasking has caused even greater dissatisfaction with our lives. We are busier than ever, and more unfulfilled than ever. Often, we are doing many, many things but failing to any of them really well. If we are not able to take the time to appreciate what we have right now, in this very moment, we will be perpetually dissatisfied with our lives, always seeking something better and never finding it.

So, how do you practice mindfulness? Simply recognizing the need for mindfulness is the first step. Once you are aware, you will catch yourself having those racing thoughts and remember to slow down. Try giving your full attention to every action, whether it's washing the dishes, mowing the lawn or hugging your child. Think only of what you are doing at that moment, how it feels, the sights, sounds and smells. Take time to feel the joy in the ordinary.

Have you ever seen a tea ceremony performed? Did you notice how the person pouring the tea does it slowly, always using two hands to pick up the tea pot and the cups? A tea ceremony is a practice in mindfulness. By taking time and using both hands to perform every task, the mind is focused one hundred percent on the act of having tea.

Finally, remember to breathe. It sounds simple, but we have a tendency to hold our breath for a moment during times of stress or anxiety, and breathe fast and shallow the rest of the time. Breathe deeply, with long exhales, to calm your mind and quiet racing thoughts. With control of the breath, we can control the mind.

Wishing you peace, love and happiness.

The Power of Words: Why You Should Choose Yours Carefully

Much has been written about the power of words. Although this is not a unique topic, I think it’s a very important one and something that touches each of us every day. If you allow your words to control you, instead of the other way around, you will impede your success and jeopardize your relationships.

If the average person speaks about 15,000 words per day, how many of these words are “intentional?” How many are without forethought? Our thoughts are constantly bouncing around in our brains like popcorn and it’s inevitable that some of those thoughts are going to slip out as words that are not productive and sometimes even harmful. This risk is increased when we speak out of anger or fear.

Everything you say has an effect – a consequence. As Jack Canfield put it: “What you say to others creates a ripple effect in the world.”

Your words, whether positive or negative, leave an imprint on your subconscious and the subconscious of others. This is particularly true of children. Think of some belief that you have carried with you into adulthood because of a casual comment someone made to you when you were a child.

“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.” – Wendell Johnson

I recently talked with a group of Girl Scouts about the power of words. I asked them each to cut out a paper heart and then went around the circle and had each girl relate a story about something that had been said to hurt their feelings. After each story, I had the girls crinkle up a part of their paper heart. At the end, each of our hearts was a wadded up ball of paper. Then I asked the girls to smooth the paper, imagining as they did that the person who hurt their feelings had apologized for their words. No matter how much we smoothed the paper (apologized), there was still an imprint left on our hearts from the unkind words.

“Words are also actions, and actions are a kind of words.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you want to be successful in your relationships or in business, you need to pay more attention to your words. Choose words that reflect who you want to be. Choose words that are positive and that make others feel good about themselves. Choose words that support your goals. Choose words that will make people admire and respect you because of your honesty and integrity. Or, to put it more simply, don’t lie, exaggerate or gossip.

Some of the easiest ways to get into trouble with words are:

• Engaging in idle gossip because you can’t think of anything else to say.

When we gossip, we are judging others – usually without good cause. When you judge, you close your mind and a closed mind is not able to grow and develop. So, just remember: gossip stunts your growth!


• Blurting out words that are not helpful or positive, in anger or frustration.

Your negative energy will return negative energy to you. Anything that you say in anger or frustration will ultimately come back to hurt you in some way or another. Words said in anger damage your relationships and your reputation.


• Talking too much, instead of listening.

Knowledge is not the same thing as wisdom. Constantly talking about what you “know” does not make you a wise person. A wise person looks inward and spends most of their time with others listening.

“You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” – William Stafford

There is a very simple way to remember how to use your words to benefit yourself and everyone that you come into contact with. The Buddha taught: If you know something that is not true, don’t say it. If you know something that is not helpful, don’t say it. If you know something that is both true and helpful, find the right time.

Wishing you peace and love.

Staying Positive in Difficult Times

Turn on the television, open a newspaper or your web browser and there it is - bad news. War, recession, financial crisis and stories of personal hardship. It's hard to find a news story with a happy ending. Let's face it, pessimism "sells." With all of this negativity in the world, how can you stay positive?

Since we are faced with a constant barrage of stories and images that are sad and discouraging, it's easy to become caught up in all of the negativity that's going on in the world. When this happens, you lose sight of the positive things in your own life and succumb to a state of hopelessness.

Why is it so important to stay positive? Positive thoughts and energy are essential for success in all areas of your life. Negative thoughts doom you to repeat the same self-defeating behavior over and over. Your emotions are like fuel for your thoughts and actions. Negative emotions are like putting vinegar in your gas tank - they're not taking you anywhere. But positive emotions - emotions of gratitude, love, hope, joy - can propel you forward at lightening speed.

People who maintain a positive outlook are more pleasant to be around and more compassionate toward others. This is especially important in these difficult times. If you're not sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, you are more open to reaching out to help others around you.
There are several things that you can do to keep a positive energy in your life, despite what's going on the world around you.

• Do not allow yourself to be inundated with so-called news. Yes, it is important to be informed about what is going on in the world - but stick to sources that give you just the facts. Avoid sensationalized reporting that exploits your emotions.
• Remember that the more energy and attention that is given to something, the more it expands - even when it is something that no one wants. The easiest way to minimize something is to stop giving it energy and attention. Think about a tabloid celebrity. We all complain about the fact that we keep hearing about this person in the news, yet our act of reading about this person is the very thing that is perpetuating their fame (or infamy, if you prefer). The more you feed something, the bigger it grows.
• Practice gratitude every day. Every person, no matter how dire their circumstances, has something to be grateful for. Even if it's simply the fact that they're still breathing. Take some time, every day, to be grateful for the good things in your life.
• Smile. Yes, it's that simple and it's contagious.
• Don't forget that no one can "make" you feel bad - your emotions are entirely within your control. You must consent to giving someone else that power over you. If this is a challenge because you are easily affected by other people's opinions or moods, start every morning with this affirmation, "I don't let other people ruin my day."

Remember, you don't have to let anyone else's viewpoint become your reality. Nothing in this world is permanent and every day is another opportunity for the next great thing to happen to you.

© Copyright - Cathy L. McCann. All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Permission to publish on-line or in print is granted provided that the article and by-line are printed intact and reference is given to the author's website.

Spring Cleaning: Getting Rid of Worn-Out Beliefs

March 20th is the first day of Spring. It's once again time for a little Spring cleaning. This year, instead of just cleaning out your closets, why not clear out the clutter in your emotional life?

Think about all of the ideas and beliefs you hold onto that simply don't fit anymore. Some of those beliefs may have been instilled in you during childhood, carried down by your family through generations. Others may have been impressed upon you during a past relationship. Still others may be your own misconceptions about yourself, created out of fear or insecurity.

Often, long-held beliefs create an imprint on your subconscious that is so deep you continue to allow them to limit you long after they are no longer applicable to your current life -- if they ever were in the first place. These ideas and beliefs do not reflect who you are now. Hanging onto these beliefs limits your growth and impedes your success.

Make a list of your limiting beliefs. Under those, write new statements that reflect your true, current beliefs.

• I'm not smart enough
• I am capable of doing anything that I desire
• No one in my family makes a lot of money
• I give myself permission to be successful
• I'll always be overweight
• I release my excess weight and honor my body

Repeat your new beliefs daily as an affirmation and any time that you become aware of negative self-talk. It takes some time and dedication to replace old beliefs and allow the new positive beliefs to take hold in your life.

So this Spring, get rid of worn-out things and worn-out beliefs. Most importantly, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!