Being Present... Right Now!

We live in a very fast-paced society. Everyone has somewhere to go and they're in a hurry. We are all in a rush to succeed, improve, surpass, achieve, acquire... always looking for the next best thing. Ironically, our overwhelming desire for improvement is one of the things that prevents us from growing.

When you are constantly thinking about the future, you are not living in the present moment - or in the "now" as we like to say. The same problem occurs if you are always thinking about the past. But, I'll leave "letting go of the past" for the next blog.

Living in the present moment, or practicing mindfulness, does not mean that you can't plan ahead or look forward to your future. It simply means that you give your full attention to what you are doing right now and take the time to enjoy and be grateful for the experience. As the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh has written, "Imagine the power of our actions if each one contained one hundred percent of our attention." Mindfulness not only serves to improve our relationships, but improves our productivity and leads to greater success in all areas of our lives.

As you read this, take a moment to be aware of the thoughts going through your mind. Are you thinking about what you're going to do tomorrow? about the dishes in the sink? about the unread emails in your in-box? These thoughts are preventing you from being present in THIS moment and giving your full attention to what you are doing right now.

Just before I sat down to write this, my little dog was begging me to play. He loves me to chase him around the house while he plays keep away with his favorite toy. As I was chasing him, I became aware of my thoughts. I was thinking that I could "only do this for a minute," and that I had to "get back to writing." I realized that I was not taking any joy in the act of playing with my dog and that by not giving my full attention to what I was doing I was cheating both of us out of the happiness of that moment.

How many times a day do we have similar experiences, particularly with our children? Sometimes it's very hard to focus on child's play when there are so many things on our minds, so many things to be done. Our inability to be present in the moment is detrimental to our relationships with our children. Children know when you aren't really paying attention to them, when your mind is on other things. They are so much more intuitive than adults. We are all born with the ability to experience happiness in the present moment, but this vital trait is suppressed as we age and become affected by the world around us.

Mindfulness is not an easy concept to understand or to master. We are a society of multi-taskers. But all of this multi-tasking has caused even greater dissatisfaction with our lives. We are busier than ever, and more unfulfilled than ever. Often, we are doing many, many things but failing to any of them really well. If we are not able to take the time to appreciate what we have right now, in this very moment, we will be perpetually dissatisfied with our lives, always seeking something better and never finding it.

So, how do you practice mindfulness? Simply recognizing the need for mindfulness is the first step. Once you are aware, you will catch yourself having those racing thoughts and remember to slow down. Try giving your full attention to every action, whether it's washing the dishes, mowing the lawn or hugging your child. Think only of what you are doing at that moment, how it feels, the sights, sounds and smells. Take time to feel the joy in the ordinary.

Have you ever seen a tea ceremony performed? Did you notice how the person pouring the tea does it slowly, always using two hands to pick up the tea pot and the cups? A tea ceremony is a practice in mindfulness. By taking time and using both hands to perform every task, the mind is focused one hundred percent on the act of having tea.

Finally, remember to breathe. It sounds simple, but we have a tendency to hold our breath for a moment during times of stress or anxiety, and breathe fast and shallow the rest of the time. Breathe deeply, with long exhales, to calm your mind and quiet racing thoughts. With control of the breath, we can control the mind.

Wishing you peace, love and happiness.