Much has been written about the power of words. Although this is not a unique topic, I think it’s a very important one and something that touches each of us every day. If you allow your words to control you, instead of the other way around, you will impede your success and jeopardize your relationships.
If the average person speaks about 15,000 words per day, how many of these words are “intentional?” How many are without forethought? Our thoughts are constantly bouncing around in our brains like popcorn and it’s inevitable that some of those thoughts are going to slip out as words that are not productive and sometimes even harmful. This risk is increased when we speak out of anger or fear.
Everything you say has an effect – a consequence. As Jack Canfield put it: “What you say to others creates a ripple effect in the world.”
Your words, whether positive or negative, leave an imprint on your subconscious and the subconscious of others. This is particularly true of children. Think of some belief that you have carried with you into adulthood because of a casual comment someone made to you when you were a child.
“Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.” – Wendell Johnson
I recently talked with a group of Girl Scouts about the power of words. I asked them each to cut out a paper heart and then went around the circle and had each girl relate a story about something that had been said to hurt their feelings. After each story, I had the girls crinkle up a part of their paper heart. At the end, each of our hearts was a wadded up ball of paper. Then I asked the girls to smooth the paper, imagining as they did that the person who hurt their feelings had apologized for their words. No matter how much we smoothed the paper (apologized), there was still an imprint left on our hearts from the unkind words.
“Words are also actions, and actions are a kind of words.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you want to be successful in your relationships or in business, you need to pay more attention to your words. Choose words that reflect who you want to be. Choose words that are positive and that make others feel good about themselves. Choose words that support your goals. Choose words that will make people admire and respect you because of your honesty and integrity. Or, to put it more simply, don’t lie, exaggerate or gossip.
Some of the easiest ways to get into trouble with words are:
When we gossip, we are judging others – usually without good cause. When you judge, you close your mind and a closed mind is not able to grow and develop. So, just remember: gossip stunts your growth!
Your negative energy will return negative energy to you. Anything that you say in anger or frustration will ultimately come back to hurt you in some way or another. Words said in anger damage your relationships and your reputation.
Knowledge is not the same thing as wisdom. Constantly talking about what you “know” does not make you a wise person. A wise person looks inward and spends most of their time with others listening.
“You don't need many words if you already know what you're talking about.” – William Stafford
There is a very simple way to remember how to use your words to benefit yourself and everyone that you come into contact with. The Buddha taught: If you know something that is not true, don’t say it. If you know something that is not helpful, don’t say it. If you know something that is both true and helpful, find the right time.
Wishing you peace and love.
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